Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Mad women and angry birds

Have you met a women who just absolutely refused to accept help from anyone?

Well I have a confession to make, I used to be one of those women.

I was so angry at the world for being so hard that I felt like I had to prove that I could handle all of these trials by myself.

But the amazing thing is that when you allow other people to help you like I learned how to allow other people to help me is that it releases you of the burden and allows peace to come into your life.

I think the turning point was actually from some advice that my father gave me.
I remember him saying to me that "just because you can do it on your own doesn't mean you have to" do it on your own.

There are a lot of very capable women out there whom I think have misconstrued the message of women's lib. The women's liberation meant that we have the opportunity to pursue the things we want to and that we can be strong.

For me personally I felt that by allowing a man to help me I was somehow forfeiting that strength and I had seen it as a way of being vulnerable and weak. But then I realized how much energy I was spending by doing everything by myself and that there are people who want to lend a hand not because they think I'm incapable but because they simply want to enjoy more time together.
Now I still enjoy lifting heavy objects and getting dirt underneath my fingernails like any other good tomboy does, but now I can graciously accept help without taking it as an insult.

So guys if you meet a woman who doesn't want your help don't take it personally she's just working through some issues. The best thing for you to do is to reaffirm to her how incredible you think she is and let her know that you don't see her as weak. You see her as capable and that you just want to have time with her to enjoy her company.

And ladies if someone is trying to help you...well, I'm not going to tell you what to do. Because quite frankly we know that there are people who try to help as a way of controlling us. The distinction is, is this person offering to lend a hand for me to reach my objectives? and my pursuing my own goals? Am I taking advantage of the opportunities to do what I want to do or is this person trying to help steer me a different direction and change my life course and change my life plans?

Stay true to you, and let people help.






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